Sorry. Not.

I'm not even close to being ready for my trip and I leave in about 10 hours. I feel the need to get this out, though.

Many of you may have noticed that the past couple of months, I've been reeeally annoying. I am constantly posting on Facebook and sending mass texts about immigration reforms, gay rights, veganism and community bike events. I understand how frustrating and overwhelming the constant spewing of my opinions may be, but... I'm not sorry.

A lot of you know me as shy, quiet Esther, so all of this has come as somewhat of a surprise (well, aside from the rants and ramblings of this blog). Those of you who really know me, and there are very few of you, know that I've always been opinionated and never shut up, but I've definitely stepped it up.

I'm writing this, not because I feel the need to explain myself to those of you whom I have offended, quite the opposite. I'm glad that you feel affronted, that you are taken aback. I'm glad that the fact I'm finally speaking up and fighting for what I believe in is uncomfortable to you. I want you to be inconvenienced, to be interrupted and made to feel whatever it is you're feeling. So you're angry, so you hate me now, so what? Tell me WHY! Tell me why you disagree, stand up for what YOU believe in. For once in your life, care about something other than you and yours and listen and respond to the other side!

I am done waiting for things to happen. I'm done making excuses, I'm done apologizing. So, here's my unapology:

• To my family and coworkers: I'm not sorry that I'm vegan and that it's inconvenient when you come visit me or we go out to eat, and I'm not sorry you feel uncomfortable and defensive when eating meat in front of me.
• To my "friends": I'm not sorry I use your phone number as a means of marketing my opinions and congregating people, I'm not sorry that you don't like what I have to say and think I've changed for the worst. If you choose to un-friend me because I'm not enough like you, or because I mass text you sometimes (really though?) you're not worth my time anyway.
• To my asshole ex-boyfriends (for good measure): I'm not sorry for doing all the things that made me who I am, that you didn't like, and I'm especially not sorry for being persistent and fighting to keep you when I thought you were worth it. Fortunately, I've realized you're not.
• To all my family and friends again: I'm not sorry I don't consider myself Mormon, I'm not sorry I don't believe in god, I'm not sorry I have a big tattoo on my chest, and I'm not sorry all of this is unsettling and disappointing to you.

All I ask is that I be respected for the fact that I'm DOING something, fighting and standing up for what I'm passionate about, even if you don't agree with it. Those of you who are upset with me, or disagree with the things that I say and post, please, talk to me about it. I am genuinely curious as to what your side of the story is, and unlike some of you, I'm willing to listen... That's how I got here in the first place.